“God gave me you for the ups and downs..”
I can’t get that song out of my head. It means so much to me lately.
I’m tired, I’m sore, my legs are cramping up.
But I’m here.
And I’m so, so happy.
She’s at work right now and she doesn’t know I’m here yet. I haven’t even seen her yet and still just being in the proximity of 100 yards of her takes my breath away. I’m shaking so much I can barely type. It’s like my whole body just wants to get up on its own and run, or maybe dance, who knows!
She is so stalwart and strong. A lot of girls couldn’t do what we are doing. We have both had to grow up through this process, this being apart for weeks at a time. I envy her sometimes, because she seems like she almost deals with it effortlessly at times. I love her so much. In every way. She is my light. She gets me through the hard times. Whenever I need someone to talk to, she’s there. I always. ALWAYS feel better after talking to her. I have never been more lucky or blessed in all my life. She is everything to me.
Anyway, this blog was supposed to be reflective or something, but it’s turning into just a mishmash of emotions! I’ll take another stab at the subject later, when I can actually do it justice and not just stumble over my own words. But for now I will say this. One hug and four weeks apart and 600 miles just melts away.
Me and her have received a lot of criticism. We have only been in this relationship for eight months now, and already we have had lots of challenges. Certain people say that we are way too young to bet his serious. And this has made me think a lot about what it means so be in a relationship. I’m convinced that ones age has very little to do with it. I mean, sure, it can play a significant factor, but I think there are mire things going on than just years lived on the planet.
Age is not an appropriate measure of maturity. It never has been and never will be. People are as different as the proverbial trees in the forest. Everyone is at a different level, and there is no guarantee that a person at forty can be considered a mature human being, nor that a fifteen year old can be considered immature. To quote Buster Kilrain (look it up), “I take men one at a time.” You cannot determine one’s character, and consequently one’s maturity, without first getting to know that person.
When it comes to serious relationships, I think there are several reasons that some are convinced that age is tied to maturity. One of the biggest is that many people are career driven. A person wrapped up in his or her own career would obviously want to get established in that career at a young age. As Americans, a consumer society, we are taught that to be the most economical we should establish our money making opportunities early and later get “tied down” with a relationship. It’s true that once one settles down and has a family, life opportunities outside of that family are going to be limited. But I submit to everyone’s very advanced intellect that some people may not be so career-driven. My life aspiration has always been and always will be to have a family with a person whom I love very much. I have never cared very much for money, or for making a lot of it. I get the most out of life from my relationships, both friendships and otherwise. To me, being in a relationship has never been something that has tied me down. On the contrary, it has always for me enhanced and improved my life and my outlook on my own life. The truth is, I am living my dream.
Some people seem to also think that someone as young as I could not possibly know what having a relationship requires to be successful, or what it is all about. I think that somehow in society and cultural thinking in general most people are under the impression that age is directly correlated with both intelligence and self-awareness. As I said before, this may in fact be the case some of the time. But it is by no means the rule. For instance, I have grown up with my parents being a very big influence in my life. They have been happily married for many years, and in my time with them I can remember one time that I ever witnessed them fight. I remember it so vividly mainly because it was such a rare phenomenon. I have grown up, therefore, witnessing firsthand what it is to be in a relationship. I took a course for the eighteen years that I was under their roof in how a man should treat a woman. I saw how important communication is to any relationship, and how vital kind words and affection are. That was always contrasted with the strife and sadness I sometimes experienced at my friend’s houses. I experienced what a good relationship looks like, and I decided based on what I witnessed that I wanted one for myself.
Do not tell me that I am not ready for a relationship. Do not tell me that I am incapable of being serious about someone because I have only lived nineteen years on this earth. Do not tell me that I am not self-aware, or that I am not mature. I would challenge you to talk to me first about my knowledge of relationships, and then make your judgments. Do not think just because I am not driven solely by a career that I am unhappy. Realize instead that for the thing I want most in life, I may understand it very well indeed.
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