O Self, Where Have You Gone?

It's amazing to me how many people my age have lost something. I'm not talking about car keys, wallets, or the remote. I'm talking about their selves.

I cannot count the number of times I have heard, "College is a time to find yourself." Now, on the surface level I have very few problems with this statement. I believe that college can be a time of great personal growth and maturation. I believe it can be an opportunity to meet new people, learn life changing things, and broaden your intellectual horizons (thanks, Brian). I wonder if all of that is simply more "learning" than actually "finding yourself", but I will not debate semantics. Let's just assume that "learning" and "broadening your intellectual horizons" is basically the same as "finding yourself".

Two things. First, notice that I said you can do all these things. Just because you are in college doesn't mean you will learn anything. I could write an entire other blog about how overcrowded college campuses are, and how we need to weed out the morons taking up valuable space. But that will have to be for another time.

Second, the people who say, "college is a time to find yourself" are rarely talking about learning. I should clarify. Imagine someone walked up to me and said, "Kyle, I don't care what you say. I am going to take all these engineering classes to really find myself and broaden my horizons. I'm going to try and find out if I am an engineer."

This is totally legitimate to me. After all, if you never try engineering classes you will never know if you like engineering. You will not have found yourself.

BUT, as I said, that is not what these people mean. When they say, "college is about finding yourself," what they really mean is, "I want to drink myself into oblivion and have sex whenever and with whoever I want. And oh by the way, it's part of the college experience, so don't judge me."

Don't believe me? Think I am being cynical like I normally am? Have a read. (click it)

Now, it doesn't really get good till the last paragraph. But Ms. Hunter ends strong. Here it is ladies and gents.. this is what college is all about!

"And quite honestly, college is the best place to figure out your sexuality. It is expected of us to be crazy and stupid during these four years, so why not experience life and figure out who you are and what you like while you’re young?"

When I read this today, I really became quite angry. Angry enough, in fact, that I wrote a letter to the editor. Why was I angry? Because in one paragraph, in less than 50 words, this lady sums up the "normal" mindset of a college student.

College is not about learning. It's not about broadening your education. It's not about getting a degree or bettering yourself. In fact, college is best for "figuring out your sexuality."

Tell you what. The next time someone tells me they are in college to "find themselves", I am going to count slowly to three...

..And then I am going to break their nose.

I don't care what you do with your life. If you want to be an alcoholic and have a sexual history as long as "War and Peace" that is your prerogative. This is a free country. In fact we have a whole set of documents proclaiming to the world your right to be a total disappointment and waste of oxygen. But if you choose to do these things, please call it what it is. Don't call it, "finding yourself," call it, "I like to drink and have meaningless sex". You can even make up a cool name for your lifestyle. I don't care. Just stop calling it "finding yourself".  (Here's an idea! Assign you and your friends a set of Greek letters and you can all live in the same house and be decadent together! You can even collect money so people have to pay for that lifestyle! Wow, can't believe no one has ever thought of tha-.... oh wait...)

As for me, I don't think I really need to "find myself". I have a lot to learn, but I'm pretty sure next to nothing positive can be learned at the bottom of a whiskey bottle or after a one night stand.

But who knows? Maybe I just haven't "found myself" yet. Maybe my self is out there wandering around, waiting for me to come to my senses. Maybe instead of refusing to engage in meaningless sexual relationships, I should be hooking up with at least a girl a week. Maybe I should be attending some of those parties I hear about.

Or maybe everyone is just full of crap.